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PATH: BS | Society | Stupid People
Man Has His Thumbs Altered To Use iPhone
Posted by Pile
(10216 views) [E-Mail link]
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[Eureka!]
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Thomas Martel, 28, is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."
"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless." |
READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-08-13 07:38:43 | Comment on this Article |
Freedom Fence Not So Fancy
Posted by ueberbill
(10685 views) [E-Mail link]
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James Campbell, a retired Arizona homebuilder, decided that investing for the future is important. But rather than put his money into selfish ventures that might make him or his descendants any money, he wanted to make America secure. For that noble purpose, he took out a loan and gave $100,000 of it to the Minutemen Civil Defense Corps (MCDC) to help build an "Israel-style" fence around our borders to the south (I had an Israel-style reuben the other day--MUCH more delicious than the fence). But the MCDC, which has failed to staunch the incoming tide of illegal entrants into this country, also kinda failed to keep up its end of the bargain fence-wise. The fence, which was to be made of steel tube and be otherwise Israeli fence-like (I have no idea what that's supposed to be--perhaps bearded), is in fact rather dinky and not what Campbell was promised by the founder of the MCDC, Mr. Chris Simcox. So Mr. Campbell is undertaking another patriotic act--he's suing. |
READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-07-08 21:30:49 | Comment on this Article |
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