PATH: BS | Religion | WWJD

God Endorses Pennsylvania Governor For Re-Election

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Forget the campaign forecasting of the pundits and pollsters. Gov. Ed Rendell might have God on his side.

During a voter awareness event in the Capitol Rotunda on Tuesday, the incumbent Democrat received word via a Lycoming County minister — a registered Republican, no less — that God has “decreed” he will be re-elected to a second term.

“I was a little stunned, to be honest,” a smiling governor said afterward.

The campaign bombshell was dropped by the Rev. Carl Vining, pastor of the nondenominational House of Judah Ministries in Montgomery and a chaplain-on-call for the state Senate.

As the reverend introduced Mr. Rendell to a packed Rotunda, he told those gathered that “the God of Israel” recently sent word through him on the outcome of this year’s gubernatorial election.

“The God of Israel said, ‘One more term,’” the Rev. Vining told Mr. Rendell.

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Christians Still Being Fed To Lions

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A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

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Left Behind: The Video Game

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Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice. You have never felt so powerful, so driven by a purpose: you are 13 years old. You are playing a real-time strategy video game whose creators are linked to the empire of mega-church pastor Rick Warren, best selling author of The Purpose Driven Life.

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Ten Things I Hate About Commandments

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[Humor]
Just today I was asking myself, what would happen if someone put one of those teen-movie treatments on the epic, The Ten Commandments. Well, what do you know... check out this funny trailer.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2006-05-20 09:48:14 | Comment on this Article

Mark of the Beast: An Omen Remake, Ann Coulter, and Fox

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So whaddaya do if you're a pregnant woman, and your due date is 666? It's coming up, you know...6/6/06. Name your kid Damien? Send your Satanic rock band on tour? Schedule a C-section on 6/5/06? Release another right-wing hate book? Open a movie remake of The Omen? Await the arrival of your little bundle of Antichrist?

Or do you work some numerology to prove what anyone paying attention could already tell you...that Fox News bears the Mark of Satan?

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Public Access Televangelism: Gangsta Preecha Y'erdmeh?

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[Activists]
This one is too funny to not post. What happens when gangsta culture crosses with televangelism on public access TV? You're about to find out.

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Preacher Says "Spare the PVC and Spoil the Child"

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[Bad Parents]
A few years ago, Lynn Paddock sought Christian advice on how to discipline her growing brood of adopted children.

Paddock -- a Johnston County mother accused of murdering Sean, her 4-year-old adopted son, and beating two other adopted children -- surfed the Internet, said her attorney, Michael Reece. She found literature by an evangelical minister and his wife who recommended using plumbing supply lines to spank misbehaving children.

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Amazon Changes Search Results On Abortion

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[Activists]
Online retailer Amazon says it is changing the way its search engine handles requests for the term "abortion."

The Web retailer says it got an e-mail complaint that the results of the searches seem biased.

Until the criteria were changed, if you were to type in the word “abortion” you'd get a prompt that asks: "Did you mean adoption?"

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Painter of Light Also Pee-er On Pooh

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Multi-millionaire kitsch-painter, Thomas Kinkade, whose galleries seem to reproduce like fetid rats in tourist areas, is under fire from ex-employees and business associates over supposedly un-God-like behavior. The man who claims God controls his paintbrush, and who has successfully exploited lots of religious folks via his warm-and-fuzzy distorted images of reality, seems to have a sordid past of groping women, defrauding business associates, and even urinating on Disney characters.

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Jesus Comes Back As Image On Sheet Metal

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Thomas Haley was unloading supplies for his job at Hardy's Hardware when he said something odd caught his eye: the face of Jesus Christ on a piece of sheet metal.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-02-27 18:32:41 | Comment on this Article

Church Steals Microsoft Logo To Lure Converts

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A Phoenix Lutheran church has been mailing out flyers that copy the design of the Microsoft XBox 360 logo and colors to lure kids into going to church. No word if they have removed the 8th commandment from their bible teachings.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-02-18 19:08:24 | Comment on this Article

Evangelical Christians Fight To Stop Global Warming?

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[Environment]
In an unusual twist from the standard, "Everything is a theory" perversion of science by most Christians, a new group of 86 evangelical Christian leaders have decided to back a major initiative to fight global warming, saying "millions of people could die in this century because of climate change, most of them our poorest global neighbors."

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-02-08 13:39:18 | Comment on this Article

European Journalists Reserve "Right of Blasphemy"

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Ok, this is a great story, and it shows how much balls the Europeans have when it comes to freedom of speech and journalism. What's happened is that a Danish newspaper published a characature of Mohammed, the Muslim prophet. Well, Muslims all over the world were outraged and Danish reporters have had to go into hiding over death threats; countries like Saudi Arabia and others are initiating elaborate boycotts of anything and everything Danish as a result of the newspaper's action. Apparently, reproducing any imagine of Mohammed is some sort of grave sin.

However in protest of the Muslim upheval against Denmark, newspapers across Europe have shown the balls that are now non-existent in Western journalism to publish charactures of a variety of religious figures including Mohammed. Where's the American media in all of this? Probably checking with Federal Express, the CATO institute, and Chase Bank to find out what they should print.

Germany's Die Welt daily printed one of the drawings on its front page, arguing that a "right to blasphemy" was anchored in democratic freedoms.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2006-02-02 12:24:07 | Comment on this Article

Christians Accuse AOL of Blasphemy

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[Activists]
The folks over at World Net Daily, a popular Christian site are all up in arms over AOL's newest ad campaign. The slogan, "I AM", they claim translates to YaHWeH, the self-proclaimed name of God, and thus AOL is violating the third commandment and committing horrible sins.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2006-02-02 12:22:39 | Comment on this Article

Christian Video Game Allows Players to Smite If They Have Faith

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Catechumen is a first person action/adventure Christian game where your goal is to defeat the forces of evil, descending deeper into the depths of the Earth and rescue your captured brethren.

Kind of ironic that smiting people causes your faith to drain and you need more faith to go on to more smiting.

No word if the level bosses are ACLU members, PETA, Democrats or Activist Judges.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2005-12-30 15:15:08 | Comment on this Article

Atheist Group Offers "Smut For Smut"

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[Pubic Relations]
A group of atheists at the University of Texas in San Antonio is trying to tempt college kids into trading their Bibles for pornography.

It's part of a program called Smut for Smut sponsored by the student organization called Atheist Agenda.

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Boycott Demands Equal Representation For Christian Consumers

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There's an e-mail going around, spawned by an organization called the Catholic League which suggested a boycott of Wal-Mart due to the company's policy of substituting "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas".

This would be another boring, goofy Internet rumor if it wasn't for the true story of what one Wal-Mart temporary worker e-mailed an irate Christian who complained that a Wal-Mart website search for "Christmas" didn't bring up as many items as a search for "Kwanza."

Read on to understand why Nerds rule.

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Priest Suspended A Year After Arrest On Lewd Adult Bookstore Act

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[Sex]
A Roman Catholic priest arrested in Las Vegas last year for allegedly performing a lewd act on another man inside an adult bookstore was removed from his post as pastor of a Worcester parish.

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Lobbyist Employs Christians To Shill For eLottery

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
The Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal continues to unravel. In a page one story, the Washington Post shows how Abramoff helped eLottery, a company that sells lottery tickets online, defeat the Internet Gambling Prohibition Act of 2000 by paying a coalition of Christian and other conservative groups to oppose the bill on the grounds that it would promote gambling. (Huh?!)

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Church Makes Children Swallow Live Goldfish "For Jesus"

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The First Assembly of God Church has a Fear Factor ministry that had youths swallowing live goldfish. The church's youth minister says it teaches children about fear, but a grandparent questioned it and a pet shop owner called it animal cruelty.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2005-10-11 20:35:18 | Comment on this Article

Bush: God Told Me To Invade Iraq

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George Bush has claimed he was on a mission from God when he launched the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, according to a senior Palestinian politician in an interview to be broadcast by the BBC later this month.

Mr Bush revealed the extent of his religious fervour when he met a Palestinian delegation during the Israeli-Palestinian summit at the Egpytian resort of Sharm el-Sheikh, four months after the US-led invasion of Iraq in 2003.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-10-07 03:14:38 | Comment on this Article

Religion Bad For Society?

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[Sociology]
Religious belief can cause damage to a society, contributing towards high murder rates, abortion, sexual promiscuity and suicide, according to research published today.

According to the study, belief in and worship of God are not only unnecessary for a healthy society but may actually contribute to social problems.

READ MORE | 6 comments since 2005-10-11 06:58:35 | Comment on this Article

Christians Go Ape Over Penguins

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[Movies]
Apparently the "next big thing" after Passion of the Christ, as lauded by various Christian groups is the new movie "March of the Penguins". As more and more churches seem to morph into PACs and focused consumer groups purchasing block tickets to 'Christian-friendly' movies, the latest fad is this penguin movie, in which some claim to see God in the Emperor Penguin. Ironically this is a French-made movie.

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2005-12-22 22:02:53 | Comment on this Article

Pat Robertson: One Less Step Away From Evil Mastermind

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[Pundits]
Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson suggested on-air that American operatives assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to stop his country from becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism...We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said Monday on the Christian Broadcast Network's "The 700 Club."

Can't you just feel Jesus' love? Thanks Pat!

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2007-01-22 02:10:30 | Comment on this Article

Salem Revisited in the UK: Fundy Christian Human Sacrifices

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A shocking report from London's Scotland Yard claims that some fundamentalist Christian sects in the country have been caught performing torture and human sacrifices. Young African boys are bought and sold and brought into the country to particpate in murderous rituals perpetrated by extremist Christian sects.

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"Christian" LD Carrier Claims MCI Runs "Child Porn Ring"

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What happens when you get a telemarketing call from a company called United American Technologies and they're telling you that you need to switch to them because you're with a heathen carrier such as AT&T or MCI that promote gay marriage and kiddie porn? You turn on your trusty tape recorder and expose them before their creator.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-05-19 10:36:46 | Comment on this Article

Pro-Bush Pastor Outed For Ostracizing Congregation

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Rev. Chan Chandler, a Baptist preacher accused of running out nine congregants who refused to support President Bush resigned Tuesday.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2005-05-11 10:24:18 | Comment on this Article

Underpass Virgin Mary Defaced

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[Psychic Dorks]
Thousands of fundamentalists are likely in a tizzy after their latest obsessive freak scene was defaced by a man who wrote "Big Lie" over the accidental shrine made of salt and highway detritous.

In the meantime, somewhere, someone has discovered a urinal stain in the image of Jesus. All hope is not lost.

READ MORE | 5 comments since 2007-01-03 15:02:18 | Comment on this Article

Revised Number of the Beast: 616

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A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it's actually the far less ominous 616.

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Church Group Recommends "Naked Nanny"

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To many in the Old Northeast neighborhood where Sarah Slicker lived and babysat, she was a Mary Poppins-like figure with a brilliant smile, bubbly disposition and a natural ability with children.

Slicker began babysitting at age 12. She taught Bible classes, helped with Sunday school and worked in the nursery at First United Methodist Church. Her church awarded her a college scholarship and she graduated from Florida Southern College with a degree in pre-K education.

Everything seemed peachy except that odd incident when she was babysitting a 4-year-old boy, who demanded she take off her clothes, whereupon she complied, and let him touch her.

Oops.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-06-26 16:14:57 | Comment on this Article

Radio Host Fired For Questioning If Pope Will Get To Heaven

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[Radio]
An evangelical Christian talk show host who questioned the beliefs of the Catholic church and entertained a caller's question about whether the late Pope John Paul II would go to heaven has been fired. This goofy story fits into half the categories on the system. I'm truly at a loss.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2005-04-20 02:13:23 | Comment on this Article

Schiavo Parents Sell-Out List Of Their Supporters

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Just in case there was any doubt among the integrity or intent of the "save Terri" movement, the parents of Terri Schiavo have authorized a conservative direct-mailing firm to sell a list of their financial supporters, making it likely that thousands of strangers moved by her plight will receive a steady stream of solicitations from anti-abortion and conservative groups.

READ MORE | 8 comments since 2005-04-19 18:53:19 | Comment on this Article

The Passion of Christ's Followers And Their Special Perspective

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[Sociology]
On this Easter day, when many are celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, we've got an insightful article about passion and redemption from the Independent in the U.K. Well worth a read.

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WWJSL: What Would Jesus Smell Like? Now We Know!

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You can find candles with just about every fragrance imaginable, from blueberry to ocean mist to hot apple pie. Now there's a candle that lets you experience the scent of Jesus. "We see it as a ministry, " says Bob Tosterud, who together with his wife came up with the idea for the candle. Light up the candle called "His Essence" and its makers say you'll experience the fragrance of Christ.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-03-19 01:54:06 | Comment on this Article

100 Synagogues to Pray for Failure in Peace Accord

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Israeli rabbis were planning on Sunday to hold special sessions in 100 synagogues to pray for the failure of this week's summit between prime minister Ariel Sharon and new Palestinian leader Mahmud Abbas.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-02-07 18:26:27 | Comment on this Article

Beer Saves Man's Life

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[Humor]
A Slovak man trapped in his car by an avalanche was able to save himself by peeing his way out.

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Wacky Christians open Pandora's Box in Florida

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[Activists]
We earlier reported on the Guerilla Nativity scene set up in Florida. Well, the plot thickens...

When a Florida church group put a Nativity scene on public property, officials warned it might open the door to other religious -- and not-so-religious -- displays. They were right.

Since the Nativity was erected in Polk County, displays have gone up honoring Zoroastrianism and the fake holiday Festivus, featured on the TV sitcom "Seinfeld."

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-01-01 16:47:49 | Comment on this Article

Ohio couple pay $85 to reserve Christmas church pew

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Joe and Kathy Tricaso weren't taking any chances on not getting a seat for Mass on Christmas Eve.

The couple, who live in the Akron suburb of Green, spent $85 in a church auction last summer to reserve a pew.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-01-01 17:01:04 | Comment on this Article

Politician who won't say "God" in recall protest in CO

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A recall election is now set for an Estes Park, Colo., trustee who refuses to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance during the Town Board meetings.

"I have not been standing for the Pledge of Allegiance due to a conflict I have with the wording of the pledge, specifically the words 'under God,'" Councilman David Habecker said.

Habecker said it's a violation of church and state to include the words in the pledge and for that reason, he won't stand.

READ MORE | 7 comments since 2005-01-15 13:22:25 | Comment on this Article

Carolina school promotes "simple pleasures" of slavery

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[Edumakashun]
Students at one of the area's largest Christian schools are reading a controversial booklet that critics say whitewashes Southern slavery with its view that slaves lived "a life of plenty, of simple pleasures."

Leaders at Cary Christian School say they are not condoning slavery by using "Southern Slavery, As It Was," a booklet that attempts to provide a biblical justification for slavery and asserts that slaves weren't treated as badly as people think.

This joins other fine books in the school library including, "How the Germans perfected oven technology", and "KKK in Mississippi: pioneers in linen and outdoor lighting".

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2009-11-28 09:25:54 | Comment on this Article

Jesus alive and well..

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Jesus alive and well living in the DC Metro area. he has something to say about the politics in this election too..

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