Latest Obesity Gimmick: The Stomach Pacemaker

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So you're overweight and the All-Mayonnaise-Diet doesn't seem to be working as advertised? Well, fret no more, there's another new gimmick on the horizon: The Transneuronix Implantable Gastric Stimulation system is like a pacemaker for the belly. Implanted into the abdomen, it zaps nerves in the stomach to make you think you're full.

How about a device that zaps you in the head if you contemplate buying into another stupid diet gimmick?

I'm obviously missing out on the bandwagon here, so I want to announce my own new "weight loss system". It's called the BSAlert Diet(tm). You send me all your money; that way your broke ass won't be able to binge on Snackwells. Trust me, this works.


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