PATH: BS | Apocalyptic Signs

FL Bill Lets Students Sue Teachers They Disagree With

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A group of republican lawmakers in Tallahassee, Florida have proposed a new bill that aims to stamp out “leftist totalitarianism” by “dictator professors” in the classrooms of Florida’s universities.

The Academic Freedom Bill of Rights [SIC], sponsored by Rep. Dennis Baxley, R-Ocala, passed 8-to-2 despite strenuous objections from the only two Democrats on the committee.

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Boy Scout Leader Scouted A Little Too Much

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A longtime Boy Scouts of America official who directed a national task force to protect children from sexual abuse has been charged with possession and distribution of child pornography. On the bright side, he probably kept a lot of homosexuals and non-Christian heathens from infecting the sanctity of his organization.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-04-22 16:12:38 | Comment on this Article

Martha Stewart Released From Prison - Will Crime Now Go Up?

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While the country is still at "war", CNN. the Cheese-News-Network can't help but make Martha Stewart's release from prison, and the fact that she couldn't easily get cappuccino, front page news. I for one, am now quite worries since this horrible criminal has been put back into society, that crime will again dramatically rise. After all, when we nail Martha Stewart, we're pretty far down the list of criminals that need to be prosecuted.

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Cheap Furniture Sparks Riot in London

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When a new IKEA store opened in north London, people came expecting huge savings on cool sofas and other Swedish-inspired furniture. What they got was something more like the fabled Who concert, prompting an ambulance worker to state, "It's a miracle no one was killed."

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Celebrity Nudity Database

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[Lonely People]
Have you ever wondered if there was a way to get an index of the movies in which your favorite actor or actress may have flashed skin? Me neither, but apparently there's enough of a market for these sexually-repressed goofballs to warrant the creation of the Celebrity Nudity Database - a knock off of IMDB with the focus on nude scenes. Married men all over the world are now rejoicing.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-02-09 20:09:49 | Comment on this Article

Welshman Cuts Balls Off to Celebrate Soccer Win

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A Welsh soccer fan promised his friends that if Wales beat England in the Six Nations Tournament, he'd cut his own balls off.

READ MORE | 5 comments since 2005-04-19 18:39:55 | Comment on this Article

Christian Creation Science Fair Winners

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This is an old article, but it's so fun and inciteful it's worth mentioning here.

The 2001 Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair was held on April 16th and great fun was had by all in attendance. Fellowship is proud to be host to one of the largest Creation Science Fairs in the country, this year we had over 200 students present their projects.

What projects you ask? Well read on to hear about the winners' great projects such as, "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)", or "Women Were Designed For Homemaking".

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2005-01-18 13:23:45 | Comment on this Article

Divine Interventions

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The next time someone screams "Oh God!", they mean it.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-01-10 14:36:55 | Comment on this Article

Canadian bids $20k for Texas snowball on eBay

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Granted, this is likely a hoax and nobody in their right mind will do this, or maybe it's yet another goofy publicity stunt, but moron #1 has has put a snowball up for auction on eBay and moron #2 had put a $20k bid on said snowball. Now, since moron #2 is from Canada, I can understand why he might be so interested in a texan snowball -- he likely doesn't get much of that stuff in his neck of the woods and one from Texas... well that's just a bonus.

Update: It seems the $20k Canadian bid was retracted and the item went for $92.00. Either way, the end is near.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-01-08 22:47:31 | Comment on this Article

$52,000 truffle purchased, then left to rot

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A London restauranteur paid $52,000 for what some claim is the world's largest truffle, then he locked it in a refrigerator and it went bad.

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Spongebob vandalized or disappearing coast-to-coast

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As seen draped over various trans-fat-laden fast food establishments, it seems the venerable Spongebob Squarepants is in hot demand this season as snipers deflate him or otherwise snatch him. Where could he be?

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CBS and NBC reject church's "you're welcome here" commercial

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The CBS and NBC television networks are refusing to run a 30-second television ad from the United Church of Christ because its all-inclusive welcome has been deemed "too controversial."

Apparently the major networks feel that any church that invites all people to worship their diety is way too controversial. Perhaps if each person was carrying a Pepsi and a Big Mac, things might be different?

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-06-26 17:12:24 | Comment on this Article

Would this be an Orange Alert? Or Yellow?

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[The "Buzz"]
Fiendish cheese saboteurs ruined 237 wheels of cheese ripening peacefully on a farm in Vermont.

When the people of America can no longer eat cheese in safety and security, the terrorists have truly won.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2004-11-24 23:28:50 | Comment on this Article

Hey kids! Get your autopsy toys in time for Christmas!

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The pro-family activist group (as Jon Stewart says, "any group with 'family' in the name is usually angry) Parents Television Council is outraged over a new "toy" line of products aimed at kids 8 and up related to the television crime drama CSI.

With the new CSI Forensics toy kits, your kid can have lots of fun creating and investigating crime scenes, fingerprinting suspects, and our favorite the facial reconstruction kit (blue eyes). No news on the neighbor's missing dog yet.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2004-11-19 16:47:26 | Comment on this Article

Our Lady of the George Foreman Grill

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Going fast, but not cheap, on Ebay right now--it's a miracle--it's the image of the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich.

And miracle of miracles, although the sandwich is 10 years old, it's not even rotten! Surely you want this icon of holiness in YOUR refrigerator!

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2004-11-17 10:26:47 | Comment on this Article

Down With Fancy Book Learnin'

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Or, What's it mean that the big cities and college towns of America all voted blue?

In this fine article--I call it that because the writing is just a plain pleasure to read, if you like good writing--the author points out that the big cultural centers and the best college towns in the U.S. all voted Democratic, and points to this cultural divide between fancy book larnin' and...um...them who never needed none o' that, and are damn proud of it.

READ MORE | 10 comments since 2007-07-09 06:53:56 | Comment on this Article

Scott Peterson fan club

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In keeping with my own mantra, I avoid watching live TV wherever possible (and with Tivo, I don't have to wade into the sh*t) but apparently people are still obsessed with this Scott/Lacy Peterson ordeal. A prime example of the overblown media crime hype.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2004-10-30 23:36:33 | Comment on this Article

Jesus alive and well..

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Jesus alive and well living in the DC Metro area. he has something to say about the politics in this election too..

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The state of "Corporate Media"

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[News Media]
An organization called the "Free Press Action Fund" has an insightful flash movie entitled Debating for Ratings" which poignantly captures the state of American media.

Every election season, instead of covering the issues, networks focus on rumors, campaign strategies, gaffes, and the latest polls.

The media have hijacked our democracy — their goal is to increase profits and keep advertisers happy, aiming for ratings instead of informative, well-investigated stories that are good for democracy.

When they ignore the real issues, candidates are forced to raise money from special interests to buy ad time. That's just fine for large media companies, who rake in record profits as a result — they win by ignoring the issue. The losers are American citizens.

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Miami Vice -- the movie?

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[Movies]
Apparently Hollywood has not only scraped the bottom of the barrel. Now they've torn it apart and are working on finding globs of goo that may have sliped into the cracks in the floorboard. Yes Virginia a feature length movie around the mundane 80s television show Miami Vice is coming to the big screen. Better yet, it stars Jamie Fox.

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