FINALLY: Beer for Dogs

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You love your dog. You feed him premium dog food. He's got a little sweater for when it's cold, and a little raincoat for when it's raining. He has snow boots, and little sunglasses so he can look cool. His doggy bed contains flea-fighting (and great-smelling!) cedar chips, and it's designed to cushion his arthritic joints. You spend more on shampoo and conditioner for him than you spend on yourself. You buy him doggy cookies for treats; maybe in summer, you buy him some of that delicious doggy ice cream.

But you lead a hollow, empty existence. And so does your dog. Because you can't--sob!--share a nice frosty mug of beer with him. Oh, the humanity!

Until now.

That's right, a small brewery in the Netherlands has come out with Kwispelbier, "a beer for your best friend", made from beef extract and malt. And, it contains no alcohol, so your dog can still be your designated driver. The name refers to tail wagging--oh, and beer. This delicious, exclusive, canine-focused brew costs only four times as much as a Heineken, but isn't your dog worth it?

And if you're unfortunate enough not to live in the Netherlands...the beer probably isn't being exported just yet...there's always the American version, Happy Tail Ale.

I say, if you want to give your teetotalin' dog alcohol-free beer, there are plenty of those available already. And if he only likes the kind with a kick, give him a sip of yours already. (Just don't give him enough that you have to start looking for doggy A.A. meetings...a friend knows when to tell a friend when!) And if your dog doesn't like "beer for humans," well, more beer for you, right?

Keep on the lookout for cigarettes for dogs. Remember, you heard it here first.

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