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What are the world's greatest videos? Which ones truly rate a place in the pantheon of musico-visual divinities? Thriller? Baby One More Time? The Legend of Bilbo Baggins? Virtual Insanity? Safety Dance? Dirty? Justify My Love?
You may think so. But that's only because you may never have beheld the wonders of true artistry....behold. You haven't seen anything yet...
George Michael wishes he was this guy. You gotta love the little butt dance.
This was quite the entertaining song. How could we have missed it back in the 80's? Now we know where "Who Let the Dogs Out" got its inspiration.
Patrick Stewart Alphabet
In which Patrick Stewart sets a course for the planet Homosexulon at warp 9. Shatner could never have pulled this kind of thing off....
I Want To Love You Tender
Every video needs a little jazzercise to really make it sparkle. The matching workout clothes only add to the effect. Those guys on the treadmills were probably inspired by this one....Sadly, Armi and Danny, the lead singers of this Finnish ABBA-esque supergroup were tragically killed when their space-car hit a patch of space-ice and careened into a nearby sun.
Speak, The Hungarian Rapper (much respect)
That last guy on the right...Is that...Could it be....Steve Perry? You know, no one can truly feel the black man's pain like a white Hungarian with a sports car and a deeply felt love for peace. Yeeh, c'mon.
Sondra Pill Does Nasty
Sondra, fur is murder. Especially that fur. Not only that....I think that thong the wrestler-guy was wearing may have killed off legions of offspring yet unborn.
The Original Average Homeboy
There's nothing sadder than a middle-class white rapper--especially one with such obvious talent (rhyming hoops with fruit loops? genius.)--being held down by The Man who decreed that rappers can only be black thugs. Fight the Power!
Muse Knights of Cydonia
That was better than a lot of movies I paid good money to see.
I think it might be cheating if you're actually trying to be bad.
Pile's Personal Favorite: Total Eclipse of the Heart
Percussion as it was meant to be. Earthy. Primal. Kitchen-based. With pants falling down.
Vocoder, What Happens Now?
This is why keyboards and grocery stores don't mix.
Leningrad Cowboys with Red Army Choir - Sweet Home Alabama (can't make this shit up folks)
Nobody can do southern rock like the Red Army.
Why Must Thugs Cry?
....because it sounds better than their singing?
Sons of Butcher
You have to love the originality of the lyrics. These guys are true poets.
White Christmas Pussy-style
Dolls, eat your hearts out! Now THAT's entertainment.
Hey, It's Just Like A Mini-Mall
A little repetitive, but this still has more jam than both of the the white rappers combined, with the crying thug thrown in for good measure.
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