Top Ten Reasons To Vote Republican

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The folks at DU have compiled an insightful guide for people who might not have made up their mind yet. Here's the festive top 10 reasons why you should vote Republican...

1. Vote Republican If You Think It's A Good Idea To Put Detailed Atom Bomb Plans On The Internet For Anyone To See

2. Vote Republican If You Want To Stay The Course In Iraq

3. Vote Republican If You Think The President Should Get Advice On Gay-Bashing From A Pastor Who Secretly Bangs Male Prostitutes

4. Vote Republican If You Think The Best Way To Deal With A Child Predator Is To Cover Your Own Ass

5. Vote Republican If You Hate The Military

6. Vote Republican If You Like People Who'll Say Literally Anything To Get Elected

7. Vote Republican If You Think The Best Way To Answer A Tough Question Is To Have Your Questioner Beaten Up

8. Vote Republican If You Think That Laws Are For Other People

9. Vote Republican If You Think It's Cool For Congressmen To Pay Their Mistresses To Keep Quiet Until After Election Day

10. Vote Republican If You Still Think That This Crew In Congress Isn't The Most Corrupt, Hypocritical, Useless Bunch Of Asshats You've Ever Seen In Your Life

Details

 

Misguided...
Posted by Joe Bleaux on 2006-11-13 09:33:06
Wow Pile. Do you even believe what you type? It is unbelievable that someone so adept at computer usage can even believe that one party is any more or less corrupt than the other. It appears as though you are a stooge for the Democrats the equivalent of Rush Limbo. It also appears as though you picked an apt username. What a 'Pile'.
Posted by Voting GOP on 2008-01-23 00:52:03
Wow! A liberal democrat who is disgruntled at everything.

I will vote Republican, but NOT for the reasons you listed, but for a better future for the United States of America that does NOT include a socialistic communist State devoid of freedom and the Creator.
GOP 1
Posted by GOP 1 on 2008-02-13 21:26:25
I can't believe someone this uneducated figured out how to use a computer. Who wrote this for you little boy?
Posted by Pile on 2008-02-18 10:39:47
I just posted this. I didn't write it. Maybe you conservative idiots can't make that distinction? I can understand this because you can't seem to tell the difference between Iraq and Saudi Arabia, John McCain and a steaming pile of dogshit with a sign on it that says, "I smell nice".
sir
Posted by bodeenplukt on 2008-02-18 13:02:04
without ad hominem attacks, the "consevatives? simply have nothing to say. not one item was disputed as not being factual.
congress
Posted by ummm on 2008-02-18 15:51:05
is controlled by the democrats currently.....
thought you should know
Posted by Pile on 2008-02-19 09:44:36
Congress is controlled by Democrats? Let's see, the 109th congress is: Senate: 44D 55R, House: 202D 232R. The 110th congress is: Senate 49D 49R, House: 233D 202R. I'd hardly call that "control."

Congress is controlled by a bunch of corporate-controlled, self-serving pigs.

These days there doesn't seem to be much difference between Democrats and Republicans, but if you want to talk idealistically about party objectives, unless you're super rich, hate minorities and foreigners or are afraid of gay people, I'm not sure how voting republican serves your interests.

The war in Iraq? Please. That doesn't serve to make Americans safer; it doesn't curtail terrorism. All it does is make a few select corporations richer and a few poor soldiers dead.
Propaganda
Posted by Anonymous on 2008-03-26 08:10:49
What you have here is a classic case of propaganda. Clearly, the most racist party is the Democrat party. If you ever see a succesful minority who is educated and well spoken, chances are they are a republican, not a democrat. I don't see how you have to hate gays, minorities, or foreigners to be republican. That is just false. Just because republicans are against the legalization of gay marriage doesn't mean they hate gays, and just because they aren't ignorant and naive like most liberals doesn't mean they are xenophobic, and just because they aren't racist and don't support affirmative action and "hate" crime laws doesn't mean they hate minorities. The fact is the republican party is not politically correct. And what does being rich have to do with anything??? As if the only people benefiting from the Bush tax cuts are rich??? You're out of your f*cking mind
YES
Posted by Anonymous on 2008-04-15 23:53:27
i applaud you sir, my thoughts exactly
Pile...
Posted by Anonymous on 2008-06-06 22:57:07
You need your ass kicked. You sound like an ignorant uneducated biased "pile" of shit when you put that up there. No one is going to take you seriously and your not going to persuade people to not vote republican because of it. So.. why did you even put it up? to piss people off? And your replies dont make any sense either. Once you get proved wrong when you realize that democrats are actuallly in power of congress you start to argue how the two parties are practically the same? So you are a typical liberal..changing what you first stated
why change
Posted by Dumb liberal on 2008-07-01 00:07:58
You would have to be a complete idiot to go and vote democrat after how great things have been going the past 8 years.

Just think...in 4 more years we may be able to...

- pay 10 dollars a gallon for gas
- stop gays from getting married (that would help me out so much)
- start another war with someone new and exciting
- get some more phones tapped
- find bin laden and some wmd's (maybe)
- blow some more shit up yeehaw!
- force raped women to deliver their children or force women who do not want the babies to have them aborted by a coat hanger
- maybe we can even reach new stock market lows
- continue our record breaking national deficit
- make the dollar worth less than wiping your ass with
- WE CAN HAVE SUMMER ALL YEAR LONG

cmon america...lets stay the coarse yet again. you dont want to pay higher taxes or drive a car thats electric do you. cmon now...lets do this

And remember...if you believe in god then you are a republican.Because im sure if jesus were here he would be all about war.
My belovedly entertaining, yet misguided followers.
Posted by Jesus Christ on 2008-07-11 12:31:17
Was I so severely misquoted that you all actually believe I supported violence? Wow. Good one. I hate to break the news to you, but my old block buddies on that side of the world are right about one thing... the west - specifically the USA, IS Satan. The proof is this, the government is untouchable and the citizens are unmotivated to do a thing about it.

Well, embarrassingly, I've been busy trying to work on my golf swing for a couple thousand years, so forgive me for not answering your prayers, or ever speaking to you in a way that the masses can actually relate to. My utter lack of communication has probably caused some doubt as to my actual existence, but fear not... I'm here. However, as f*cked up as things have become (pardon my French), I don't really care to waste my time to come back for the Apocalypse. My so-called followers and faithful are doing such a wonderful job ensuring both absolute environmental and civil destruction, do I really need to make a second appearance to strike fear in the hearts of nonbelievers? Please. It won't take that long to judge you all... GUILTY. That was quick. Besides, I'd rather perfect my swing... if that's possible. f*cking Father HAD to make me human. Sick bastard.

Okay.. getting back on track. If you're a conservative republican, I've got more news for you. I respect you least of all.

You lie.
You steal.
You judge.
You murder.
You covet.
You disrespect your Father's name (hell, even I commit this sin).
You f*ck around on your wives AND
You pray to false idols.
Further, by doing so.. you've shamed your Mother and Father.

You've all broken at least 80% of the commandments and some of you have broken them all. I was incarnated to show you how to live and yet you STILL can't get it right. I have to tell you, the prayers are more like grieving and whining. The lot of it makes me ill. When you ask for forgiveness I can't say that I'm compelled to care in the least. Keep putting yourself first. Keep supporting your personal greed and your vanity. Conservatism is simply the best way to say.. I like the way things used to be, back when their weren't any coloreds getting in my way. The funny thing is that you republicans now how true this is, but you deny it to the world just as you deny this truth to even yourselves. Hypocrites all of you. Don't go to church. The mass whining hurts my ears.

I gotta run.. early tee time at Pebble Beach.

PS - This millenium's Hitler has a redneck accent and Muslim's are his Jews. See ya, bitches!
I dominate at life.
Posted by Erica on 2008-07-13 23:50:30
This was the most retarded thing I've ever read. Not to mention your reasoning was so dumb, and yeah these conservatives are right, you change what you first said, ALWAYS. The person who chose 'Jesus Christ' as their name, you are the biggest zipper head I have ever come across. First of all, you are not good enough to be using his name, and second you sound pretty gay when you say "early tee time at Pebble Beach", clearly you don't know how to spell and second of all you don't impress anyone when you say your at Pebble Beach, because your most likely not and TEA time sounds pretty gay to me. Oh and we all f*ck around on our wives? Oh yes all of us republican ladies just f*ck on our wives and so does everu republican male. Clearly you are forgetting Bill Clinton.
Life maybe, grasp of English, not so much
Posted by LMAO on 2008-08-13 13:20:10
Oh man, the proof is in the pudding, some folks should not be allowed on the interwebs.
Thanks Jesus Christ
Posted by Mary Magdalene on 2008-10-12 03:17:04
hahaha I loved your post =)
Dumb Bitch Erica
Posted by St. Joseph on 2008-11-04 12:03:18
Erica are you even smart enough to breathe, let alone discuss this topic?
Part of the educated majority
Posted by Jonathon Banders on 2008-11-05 10:13:05
Even thought the republicans were demolished this election, I still can't for the life of all that is good in this world understand how so many people are soooo uneducated as to vote republican if they earn less than $250000 / year. They don't even know they are sticking themselves in their own arse.
Posted by Anonymous on 2009-11-24 13:06:09
I say don't vote for either. :3
American
Posted by proud American on 2010-02-16 09:27:26
MMMMM sounds a lot like the dems .....
Posted by Jack Mehoff on 2011-05-16 13:46:41
Never gunna give you up
never gunna let you down
never gunna turn around and forget you
 

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