The Church of Google?
Posted by Pile
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|Their web site states, "The Church Of Googlism believes a convincing argument can be made stating that the search engine Google is the closest mankind has ever come to experiencing an actual Deity. It is the ultimate bridge between people and information.|
Deities are typically described by their unique attributes such as being all knowing, being everywhere at once, the ability to pray to them (and have your prayers answered), immortality and their sense of morality. Google exhibits all of these characteristics perfectly."
Google is all-knowing (Omniscient). She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google all-knowing, but She also sorts through this vast amount of data using Her patented PageRank method, making said data accessible for us mere mortals.
Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google's search engine is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, you will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.
Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.
Google is immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take it's place. Google can theoretically last forever.
Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index it's infinite growth.
Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on it's massive servers.
Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.
Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary evidence requires extraordinary proof. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power.